


A is A: Rette Sie

by Flyboy254



Series: A Is A [9]
Category: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, Pumpkin Scissors, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 13:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13742169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flyboy254/pseuds/Flyboy254
Summary: Trying to test out if magic can help control the portal destinations better than dialing the stargate, SG-1 and the CHS Seven arrive in a mirror image with it's own dilemmas.





	A is A: Rette Sie

_**Rette Sie** _

The seven teenagers all adjusted their fatigues, Rarity looking at her own set like they were giant slugs crawling over her body. “Really colonel, isn’t there any way to maybe upgrade these to a more fashionable ensemble? I’d be more than happy to do it for free.”

 

“They’re designed for practicality Rarity,” Applejack groaned, ignoring the look Teal’c was giving her as she donned her cowboy hat. “You can’t design them any better than they are now.”

 

O’Neill watched the spectacle from the door to the gate room. Under the pretense of an “overnight field trip”, the girls had been called to help test their abilities to use the quantum gate without without the stargate or control device. “Sir, permission to take emergency leave and not be tempted to just resign my commission here and now.”

 

Gen. Hammond chuckled. “I remember when my own daughters were that age, colonel. Permission denied. Maj. Carter believes this could be a vital test to determine how compatible magic and the Ancient’s technology can be.”

 

O’Neill sighed. “As much as I love to be a guinea pig for Carter’s mad science sir, I think this would be better suited as a psychological study. How long can one man go before seven teenagers drive him up a wall.”

 

Carter walked up, cheery for the upcoming mission. “Alright, we’ve confirmed that the Amestrians are waiting for us when we find a way to make contact. We’re all set sir, ready when you are.”

 

Hammond nodded. “So’s Col. O’Neill. You have a go major, Godspeed.”

 

Carter nodded, walking over to the quantum mirror. “Alright girls, we’re set.”

 

Sunset motioned to the girls. As one they placed their hands on the mirror’s edge. Shutting their eyes, they focused their mental energies on opening a portal. Light started to stream from their hands, cameras around the gate room recording every second. Airmen stood at the ready, prepared for the possibility that something would come through that could become a threat.

 

The mirror started to glow, shimmering in the center of the structure as it slowly began to clear. The picture started to clear, going from a haze of color and shapes to the more solid form. A rolling green valley with small hills stretched before them inside the mirror, small birds singing in the distance. Carter held up a small sensor to the mirror. “Oxygen-nitrogen mixture good, tossing in water bottle.” Carter threw in a small plastic water bottle, and for a few seconds no one moved. Then Carter shrugged. “Gravity seems to be relatively equal sir. Proceeding inside now.”

 

Stepping through the mirror, Carter took a small breath and smiled. The air was clean, fresh from the trees and grass without a trace of pollution. She heard the team coming in behind her, and smiled as they did. “This must be Amestris’ countryside. Nice job girls.”

 

“Wow,” Twilight said, stepping out onto the plains. “This place is incredible _AUGH WE CHANGED AGAIN!_ ”

 

“Yeah, it happens,” O’Neill said, stepping last through the mirror as the girls patted themselves down to make sure they were still themselves. Turning back, O’Neill nodded. “Rock formation, that’s weird.”

 

Daniel looked back. “Why’s that Jack?”

 

“Well don’t we normally come out of the mirror without coming out of anything? This time we walked out of some rocks.”

 

“Well normally we’re also ripping massive holes in the fabric of reality itself by force,” Daniel mentioned. “This time we actually walked through the quantum mirror itself, like how Sunset and her friends came through by opening a similar breach in their world.”

 

O’Neill shrugged. “Fair enough.”

 

Applejack knelt down and dug her hands into the sod. “Good soil round these parts, should be good for grain or grazing. You said this place was about a good seven decades behind though right?” Carter nodded. “Well, that’d mean relatively low-yield and basic farming techniques, mostly small farms with lots of unclaimed land. This is probably still public, either that or no one’s bothered to claim it yet. We’re far out of a city though, even from where my family lives you still don’t get good air like this.”

 

O’Neill took out a compass and oriented it on the magnetic north for the world. “Okay, we’re set. We’ll walk north until we find a landmark.” The colonel put on his sunglasses. “You girls do any hiking?”

 

“Oh, colonel, that accent for your look is just wonderful,” Rarity said. “At least you know how to accessorize these outfits.”

 

O’Neill grinned a little as he set off. “Yeah, Milan couldn’t handle my smoldering intensity so I went into the Air Force.”

 

The group walked for roughly an hour, Fluttershy smiling as they went. “Oh, the animals here are so sweet. They’re singing so beautifully too, they must have all just given birth.”

 

Teal’c nodded. “Indeed. These lone trees may be the product of migratory fowl dropping seeds in flight. This world must have a viable ecosystem. Do any of you sense the presence of Amestrian alchemy?”

 

Twilight shook her head as she pulled up her new and improved detector. “Nothing on my end. I tried to tune it to be as generalized as possible, but so far there’s no EM fields detected. I may need to make a calibration; can you activate your staff?” Teal’c did so, and the detector made several soft beeps. “It works, it picked up the energy spike when you opened it.”

 

“Wait, I’m feeling something,” Sunset said. “It’s a lot of emotions, negative ones. People are scared, hungry. It’s that way,” Sunset said, pointing to what O’Neill saw was roughly Northeast. “It’s still faint, but I think if we go that way we’ll find a town.”

 

“Emotions like that wouldn’t be surprising, Amestris did just lose a leader and go through what they’ve been told is a coup.” Daniel marked some notes down. “It would be the fastest way to get into contact with Col. Mustang now that we’re here Jack.”

 

“Alright, lead on Sunset.”

 

“Oh, oh, I can fly ahead and see what’s waiting for us,” Rainbow shouting, grabbing at her geode. “Can I, please?”

 

“Bad idea,” O’Neill said, walking past the girl. “The Amestrians just had to fight some thing that wanted to be a god and seven messed up artificial people, seeing someone with wings flying around my get you flak. Literally.”

 

As the team walked wild grass eventually gave way to ploughed fields and wheat crops. The rolling hills didn’t make the walk difficult, but as the minutes ticked by O’Neill noticed that Rarity and Twilight were starting to slack on the pace. “Sunset, how’s it feel?”

 

“We’re close,” she said. “I think it might even be over the night hill.”

 

O’Neill saw a small group of trees and brush with some large rocks. “Okay, we’ll get into cover and observe the area. If it’s friendly enough we’ll start moving in.”

 

The group walked up to the crest of the hill, dropping behind cover and watching over the ridge. A small town lay nestled below, and Daniel immediately pinned it. “Roughly middle-1800s style of construction, but the language is a Germanic variant. That’s not right, Amestris has English as their written language.”

 

“Maybe we’re near a border town?”

 

“Possible Sam, but I don’t see any Amestrian iconography. It just looks like a small town.” Daniel scoped the town out for a few minutes. “That’s interesting. The town square, the street carts are all nearly empty. The local shops look pretty sparse too, and there’s signs everywhere. Best translation I can make, they’re desperate to sell.”

 

O’Neill picked up his own binoculars. “Yeah, that clothing store is offering fifty percent off all bolts of cloth, any color.” Everyone looked over at O’Neill. “I was stationed in Berlin, people.”

 

“The only shops that aren’t underpriced are the butcher and baker, no shock there.” Daniel looked at the people now. Children played around a central fountain, old men laughing or playing chess nearby. Women chatted with each other, as shopkeepers managed their deliveries or talked outside their doors. “Well aside from what I can only presume is some local economic downturn things seem pretty normal. You think maybe we wound up in a nation that isn’t Amestris?”

 

“Well we can always go back and redial with the gate,” O’Neill said, rolling behind a boulder. “We’ll give it a half hour, then we’ll-”

 

“Hang on, I’m feeling something else now,” Sunset said. “Anger, lots of anger. Gosh, it’s nearly overwhelming me.”

 

SG-1 dove behind cover and surveyed the area. “Where from Sunset?”

 

Sunset groaned. “Behind us.”

 

“Don’t move.” An angry female voice came from behind O’Neill, putting a blade on the back of his neck. “Put your weapons down and put your hands behind your head. Now.”

 

Doing as they were told, O’Neill rolled over to see the people capturing them. Three wore green uniforms, looking like they came out of Europe post-WWI. The female wore an orange outfit, and in her hands was a dagger held to O’Neill. “Corporal, tie them down. Oreldo, get a letter to the captain immediately.”

 

O’Neill held up a finger. “Excuse us, you wouldn’t happen to know the way to Central City?”

 

A blonde man grinned as he pulled out a notebook and pencil. “No, but if you hum a few bars I might.”

 

O’Neill grinned and turned to Rarity. “Oh, this will be a treat.”

 

Suitably bound and left on the rocks, SG-1 observed the four soldiers. The blonde woman was in charge, and O’Neill picked up on the ranks on each of their collars. The two other men, a blonde man and a shorter black-haired man with glasses, both had ranks lacking stars. There was also a massive slab of a man, face covered in scars with a metal lantern on his belt. “So. How are you?”

 

The man blinked. “Oh, me? Well, I’m fine.” The man stopped himself and quickly went back to standing guard over the team.

 

O’Neill shrugged. “Hey, no sweat, you’re just doing your job.” He paused. “What is your job anyway?”

 

“None of your business spy,” the woman growled. “We’ll handle you all once we’re finished here.” Kneeling behind a tree, she raised her own pair of binoculars up and observed the town. “I see them, three cars rolling towards Handlungswechsel.”

 

Daniel looked up. “Plot Twist?” Hopping around despite being tied up Daniel scrunched over to where the woman was. “Why is there a town named Plot Twist? And why are you all speaking in English when the writing is in German?”

 

O’Neill groaned. “For Christ’s sake Daniel, let them do them. Just tell me what’s coming up the road.”

 

“Hey, what do you think you’re-”

 

Daniel ignored the blonde woman. “Three cars Jack, all with armed men in them. They don’t look like soldiers though, I think they’re some kind of bandits.”

 

Teal’c looked up. “Would a group of bandits not find horses to be a more efficient means of traversing such a landscape?”

 

The man with glasses nodded. “Yeah, actually you’re right. Lieutenant, this has to mean they’re getting-”

 

“Don’t talk about our mission in front of the spies!” Shoving Daniel away, the archaeologist wound up falling hard on the dirt. Teal’c started to flex, but O’Neill waved him off. They needed to find out more. “They’re wearing something else, some kind of vest over their chests. I’ve never seen anything like them before.”

 

O’Neill shrugged. “Flak jackets, probably early model going by what we’ve seen so far.” O’Neill grinned as he leaned against his own rock. “I’d say those suckers wouldn’t stop the rifles you’re all carrying, not unless your government is as cheap as ours.”

 

The soldiers all stared at O’Neill. “You, you’re probably supplying the bandits aren’t you!” Drawing her blade again, the woman pointed it at O’Neill. “Answer me, what nation are you working for?”

 

O’Neill looked unimpressed. “Oh, careful major. I think she’s actually trying to intimidate us.”

 

Carter decided to join in on the fun a little. “Don’t worry sir, I’ll keep watching the town.”

 

The blonde blinked. “What? No, I mean that’s what we’re supposed to be doing! Martis, pulled her back and watch the town.” The glasses wearing man did as ordered. “Corporal, you make sure none of them move.”

 

“You mean like this?” Pinkie started to bounce up and down on her rear. “Or like this?” She started shaking side to side. “How about this?” She leaned forward, but slammed her head against the rock on the return. “Ow! Darn it, Maud makes that look painless.”

 

The blonde man shook his head. “Who _are_ you people?”

 

Sunset grinned, looking to the side. “Oh, you do not have the time to hear that story right now.”

 

Martis watched as the convoy of criminals rolled into town. “I count about eighteen lieutenant. The townspeople are scattering, trying to hide their kids and get their goods inside.”

 

The lieutenant went back to watching the town, but O’Neill didn’t bother correcting her on what she was doing wrong. She was an amateur through and through it seemed. “ _Probably just out of OCS, poor kid._ ”

 

“Those bastards,” she growled. Far in the distance, O’Neill could make out screams, then gunshots. “We need to find their headquarters and wipe them out.”

 

O’Neill laughed. “Yeah, that’ll be interesting. The four of you wiping out a bunch of bandits with the gear you’ve got? Hell, are you even carrying a gun?”

 

The woman growled. “If you don’t stop talking, I’ll gag you.”

  
“That would be most inefficient,” Teal’c said flatly. “O’Neill does not stop even when gagged. You will merely become annoyed at trying to discern what he is saying.”

 

The giant man looked over to the lieutenant, who was shaking in trying to contain her rage. Fluttershy spoke up. “Uh, everyone, maybe we shouldn’t make them angry?”

 

“I agree with her,” the lieutenant said. “Please all of you be quiet while we try to make sense of this.”

 

“And why are there only four of you handling this?” O’Neill wriggled to face the lieutenant. “I mean, are you guys that deep in trouble that command decided to send you out alone on a job like this? Or is your command that understaffed that they sent a boot lieutenant like you out on a job that at least requires a captain with a platoon?”

 

The woman started to shake more violently. “I know what I’m doing, I’ve done this before.”

 

“Yeah, that’s why you didn’t make sure that the binoculars were reflecting the sunlight.”

 

The woman stopped, and as realization dawned she was cringing as she saw one of the cars pull out of the town. Heading straight for the hill.

 

O’Neill smiled innocently. “Now, we’re behind these rocks so our cover is good. You guys, you’re still standing up so I’d imagine that you are in a bit more of a delicate position.”

 

The sound of the engine started to approach, and the lieutenant looked back to her subordinates. There was no chance of matching the bandits, not if some of them dismounted while others flanked them from the vehicle. “Dammit,” she whispered, sheathing her blade. “We can’t fight, can we.”

 

“Well they are bandits, maybe we could ransom ourselves?”

 

The lieutenant gawked, but the blonde man nodded. “Yeah, that might work actually. I mean three soldiers and a daughter of the Malvin family? We could tell them that we’re worth millions and they’d probably go for it.”

 

“Oreldo, don’t agree with the enemy!”

 

The engine revved, and as the lieutenant turned she saw three of the bandits running up the hill wielding shotguns and hunting rifles and heavy vests. Accepting defeat, she raised her hands and spoke more softly. “I am a daughter of the Malvin Family. If you keep us all alive, I can promise you a ransom that will keep you all in comfort for the rest of your lives.”

 

The bandits froze, and the one driving the car smiled. He was a younger man, his black hair slicked back and his angular face set in a grin as he took out a cigarette. “Well, that just makes life more interesting doesn’t it boys?”

 

* * *

 

With the town quickly raided and the group dragged back to the bandit hideout in an abandoned farmstead, SG-1 and the girls followed the bandits into a barn. The four soldiers were thrown in with them, the bandits cheering and laughing as they hefted SG-1’s weapons to the sky. They weren’t so stupid to not recognize a firearm even if it came from another dimension. “So,” O’Neill said, smiling at the lieutenant. “I’m Col. Jack O’Neill. You?”

 

The woman sighed. “Lt. Alice L. Malvin, squad leader of Imperial Army State Section III.”

 

“See, was that such a hard way to introduce yourselves?”

 

Applejack gave O’Neill a look. “Considering y’all were walking around with your guns in full view, I think they’ve been mighty kind. Also, you’re paying for whatever happens to my hat.”

 

Fluttershy was curled up in a ball, shuddering at being captured. “W-w-what are they gonna do to us?”

 

“Nothing.” Teal’c rose and easily broke out of the bindings. “What is your opinion O’Neill?”

 

“Eh, hold off on that for now Teal’c,” O’Neill said. “We still don’t know if we’re in Amestris or somewhere else.”

 

Alice stared at O’Neill quizzically while her men just stared at Teal’c. “What’s Amestris?”

 

“It’s a nation we’ve formed a partnership with,” Daniel said. “You see we come from another world, more accurately another dimension.” Daniel just got blank stares. “Uh, Teal’c can you untie Sunset and have her show them?”

 

Teal’c nodded, Sunset rubbing at her wrists as she smiled up at Teal’c. “Thanks big guy. Okay, what should I do? I mean I’m able to use telepathy and have the ability to read people’s memories.”

 

“Can you show them yours?”

 

Sunset thought for a second. “I’ve never tried before Sam. Can I try on you to see if it’s possible?” Carter nodded, and Sunset knelt down and put her hand on the major. Carter and Sunset’s eyes both glowed white, and a second later Sunset smiled. “Yeah, it’s possible.”

 

Carter shook her head. “Wow, you have had a lot of issues.” She blinked. “Sorry.”

 

Sunset nodded. “Hey, I can’t deny it. Okay, we’re ready then.” Kneeling next to Alice, Sunset held her hand up for a moment. “Can I show you what we’ve seen?” Alice nodded, lost at what was happening. Sunset put her hand on the lieutenant’s forehead and let the memories flow. Of going into the SGC, of saving it from magic, and going back and deciding with her friends to become part of their journeys to other dimensions as well. “There, that’s everything.”

 

Alice yelped, falling backwards into the dust. “What was that, what did I just see?”

 

Daniel cringed. “Little too heavy, next time we should just stick to verbal explanations, that’s my mistake.”

 

Alice breathed heavily, trying to process what she had just seen in her mind’s eye. There were images, flashes of travelling from one world to another through a glowing portal of light. Watching as energies she couldn’t describe reacted with technologies she couldn’t imagine. Her entire worldview was heaved upside down, trying to right itself without any ballast of logic or reason.

 

“What the hell’s going on?” Everyone quickly went back to their seats on the barn floor as the doors opened and two of the bandits walked in. “Who’s doing all that screaming?” Everyone looked at Alice, now sitting up again. “Heh. Don’t worry princess, the boss’ll get our money before too long. Just get some rest, we’ll be back to tell you what happens next by morning.” The men glared at her. “Course, we might just get to have our own fun too.” Laughing with lecherous intent, the man shut the barn door again, leaving the teams to collect themselves.

 

“Seriously though, only the four of you?” O’Neill shook his head. “C’mon, what’s the story?”

 

Oreldo decided to do that talking for a few minutes. “Well we got reports that the bandits around here had gotten worse. Our unit’s charged with war relief, picking up the pieces after the war with the Republic of Frost.” He stopped. “We just got done with a war with the Republic of Frost.”

 

O’Neill nodded. “Ah.”

 

“Well you’re right, most bandits around here usually have horses, the fact they have vehicles _and_ those vest-things you talked about is bad news.”

 

The giant soldier nodded. “It’s been happening all over the empire. Sometimes the problems we run into are things that can be explained easy. Then we find cases where someone is just giving advanced technologies to local lords or criminals.”

 

Carter leaned forward. “What kind of technologies are we talking about?”

 

Oreldo scoffed, suddenly wriggling out of his own restraints. “Take your pick. We’ve got semi-automatic rifles, tanks that don’t need a loader, flamethrowers, even chemical weapons.” He noticed the dimensional travelers looking at him expectantly. “What?”

 

“That’s it?” O’Neill looked at the rest of Section III. “Jeez, you had us worried.”

 

“It’s worrying for us,” Alice said, snapping back to reality again. “These aren’t tools the military has access to yet, at least not officially. Whoever’s doing this is part of a conspiracy, someone we can’t ignore.”

 

O’Neill looked around at the others. “I’m gonna take a bet and say it has to do with an intensely powerful group of people who basically run the nation.”

 

Daniel nodded. “I was gonna say that too.”

 

The four soldiers looked at the travelers more. O’Neill rolled his eyes. “Look, are you gonna try to get outta here or are you just gonna stare at us?”

 

Alice shook her head. “Who _are_ you people? Why are you so willing to help us, we still don’t know who you are for God’s sake.”

 

“We’re like you I guess,” Sunset said. “We help people find relief too. SG-1 are…different.” O’Neill looked insulted, and Teal’c raised an eyebrow. “But they’re good people. I saw your own memories, why you’re trying to do. You can help us.”

 

“Help you?” Oreldo blinked. “How can we help you?”

 

“Well you said war relief, that implies that you’re willing to work with other people to set up a way to help them live a more fruitful and settled life.” Daniel shrugged. “So far we have a team of experts on dimensional travel and hyper-advanced technology, why not a team that can help us figure out how to help people improve their lives?”

 

“What do you mean, we have a duty to our nation.” Alice shifted into a standing position. “We can’t just abandon that to help you.”

 

“Well there’s the fact that we can help you.” Sunset grinned and folded her arms. “You have a conspiracy, and conspiracies have to remain hidden. If you can let me touch the leader of the bandits, I can tell you who he’s been meeting with.”

 

“That’s not legal though,” Alice said. “We can’t just tell the Imperial court that someone read his mind and was able to see the truth.”

 

“We can start by having Sunset shake _their_ hands then,” O’Neill said. “Face it, sometimes a small starting point is better than none at all.”

 

Alice thought carefully. “Well how do we get out of here?”

 

“Leave that to me,” Oreldo said, brushing himself off. “Okay, which one of you girls is the most easily made sick?” Everyone looked at Rarity. “Okay, the rest of you act like you’re all still tied up. Now, do you know what the right way to castrate a man is? Well, you start by…” Oreldo leaned in, the other men in the room instinctively crossing their legs. Rarity’s face was confused for a few seconds, then shocked, until finally she looked like she was about to lose her lunch. Oreldo ran back to his spot. “Hey, guard, we got a sick woman in here!”

 

The two guards ran inside, cursing as they went. “Dammit, what’s wrong?”

 

“Can’t you tell? Poor girl’s about to be sick. Don’t know what you country bums have inside your guts but she’s about to lose it.”

 

“What’re you talking about?” One of the men stormed over to Oreldo as the other went to Rarity. The fashionista-turned-dimensional jumper tried to hold it in, but as the man closed everyone cringed as she lost that particular battle and the man shouted in disgust.

 

“What the hell-” The first man could barely react to his friend being stained when Oreldo jumped up and slammed his fists over top the base of the man’s skull. All communication between mind and body was cut as the farm boy collapsed like a sack of moldy potatoes. His vomit-soaked partner tried to react, but Applejack propelling herself forward with her legs caught him in the back and sent him flying face-first into a support beam.

 

“Perfect,” Oreldo said, the teams quickly breaking out of their bindings. O’Neill grabbed a lever-action rifle as Carter took up a double-barreled shotgun. “Everyone okay?”

 

“You sir are _no_ gentleman,” Rarity said, glaring at Oreldo. “If you ever tell me a story like that again I will put what you just told me into action!”

 

“Not now Rarity,” O’Neill said, checking the magazine. “Alright Teal’c, you move and grab anything you can in here that might be a good weapon. Girls, stand back until we think we need you. Lieutenant, you just stay out of the way.”

 

“Like hell,” Alice shouted. “I am an officer in the Imperial Army, and it is my duty to fight against these men to make this region safe.”

 

“You’re a boot-ass idiot who doesn’t know how to perform a simple recon op,” O’Neill said harshly. “I’d barely trust you to sign off on orders for a parade let alone combat.”

 

“Sir?” The giant soldier stepped forward, meekly looking down on O’Neill. “I know the lieutenant might seem inexperienced to an older officer like yourself, but she’s one of the best. She cares for what she does. If you let her, she can help.”

 

O’Neill looked up at the giant. He was like a strange mirror image of Teal’c; massive, battle-tested, knowing the horrors of war. Only his emotions weren’t tampered like Teal’c’s had been. Somehow this scarred behemoth had seen war and emerged still a man. O’Neill could respect that easily enough. “Alright, but the important thing is that they don’t keep our weapons around. If there is a conspiracy those weapons will make things a whole lot worse.”

 

“There are two buildings O’Neill,” Teal’c said. “A main house and a larger barn. I believe that is where they are storing the vehicles.”

 

O’Neill looked to Alice. “Do you need those cars as evidence?”

 

Alice nodded awkwardly. “I think so, we’ll need to bring them in as proof that the bandits were being supplied by another force.”

 

“Okay, two cars and a vest. Teal’c, help us knock out the guards. Carter and I will distract them by peppering the farmhouse after that. You four grab what you can and meet Daniel in the barn with the cars. We’ll grab one of them and get the girls out and make a fighting retreat back to the town.” Grabbing some extra rounds off the bandits, O’Neill and Carter nodded. “Alright, everyone move.”

 

The teams split, scurrying through the darkness like shadows or ninja or even a kid who was up long past curfew and needed to get back into the house quietly. With a practiced precision born of years running ops behind Soviet borders O’Neill incapacitated several guards idly standing about the property, dragging them to tall grass or the half-ruined buildings across the self-dismantling property. “Man, what happened around here? This farm’s all messed up, I feel like we’re about to run into serial killing hicks.”

 

“They said they just finished a war and that they’re part of a section for war relief, my guess is the war didn’t go too well for their side.” Carter scanned the area as O’Neill hid another body. “So what do you think of them sir?”

 

O’Neill dropped the body. “Well I think we probably aren’t bringing these guys along with us. They’re still using gear from decades ago without anything like alchemy or future technologies. I say we can leave’em behind in their own dimension and just check in every so often.”

 

Across the farmstead, Alice and her men waited with Daniel by the barn with Daniel and Teal’c. “Just what kind of man is your colonel? He acts like this isn’t something to take seriously.”

 

“Well I’ll admit Jack’s a bit of an acquired taste, but you’ve seen how good he is just now.”

 

Alice kept glaring at the farmhouse. “Dimensional travel, advanced technology, magic, I don’t believe it. Why are you all here in the first place?”

 

Daniel adjusted his glasses. “Truth be told it wasn’t our plan to be here at all, we were trying to travel to a dimension we already went to. If I had to guess what Sam would say she’d probably theorize that both dimensions share such similar traits that our experiment led us here by happy accident.”

 

“Happy accident he says, yeah, sure, real happy.” Oreldo chambered a round as Martis watched the farmhouse. Shadows traveled across the drawn curtains, the men inside laughing and carousing in celebration of their victory. “We just learned that everything is upside down and topsy-turvy for Pete’s sake.”

 

Daniel looked over to Teal’c. “Is it just me or do people in other dimensions use a lot of the same idioms we do?” Teal’c raised an eyebrow.

 

The crack of a rifle echoed across the farmstead, and Daniel nodded. “Okay, Jack and Sam are at it. Let’s go for the cars and get out of here.”

 

The group ran for the barn, watching a trio of armed men run out. Teal’c tackled one of them, knocking him out as Daniel and the two Imperial soldiers held him down. The giant soldier just held the third bandit at length with his arms, the man swinging desperately after his rifle was ripped from his hands. “Please, I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“Screw you, screw all of you!”

 

Teal’c walked up. “Allow me.” With a strike to his neck the man became limp, held up by the giant’s grip on his skull. “He is unconscious. You may release him now.”

 

The giant soldier did so, looking with worry as the body collapsed into a heap. “How’d you do that?”

 

“Lok’nel, a martial art my people learn to become great warriors.” Teal’c turned to face the man. “You have yet to tell us your name.”

 

“Oh, sorry. I’m Randel Oland.” Teal’c bowed. “So, uh, are we gonna steal those cars?”

 

“One sec,” Martis said, jumping up and moving for one of the cars. Grinning, Martis fired the engine and gave a thumbs up. “Okay, we’re good. I’ll go get the girls and get everyone out of here.”

 

“I will assist in retrieving our weapons,” Teal’c said. “We cannot leave them to be utilized improperly.” A rapid burst erupted from one of the upper floors of the house. “An example.”

 

O’Neill ducked as the burst from a P90 raked the ground around him. “Crap, didn’t think they’d figure it out that fast.”

 

Carter’s shotgun boomed, and more rotting wood flew off the farmhouse. “We could let them run out of rounds and then move in sir.”

 

“No chance, they’ve still got these,” he said as he hefted the rifle. “Just keep’em busy until they can get the girls out of here.” Leaning around a rusting plough, O’Neill fired.

 

As Martis drove up, the girls piled in like sardines into the back. Pinkie still smiled obliviously. “All set lieutenant.”

 

“Good, get moving.” Alice glared at the farmhouse. “I’m going inside to stop them.”

 

“You can’t be serious!” Rarity pointed at the house. “They have the guns in there, they already know how to use them. If you go inside you’re liable to be ripped to pieces.”

 

“My duty is to stop men like these,” Alice barked. “Martis, get them as far away as possible, don’t let anything stop you until you get to the town.”

 

“But lieutenant-”

 

“That was an order!”

 

Martis sped off, leaving Alice to figure out how to get into the farmhouse. Fire was still focused on the colonel and major, leaving the rest of the house unfocused on the back. Taking a small hatched that had been left to rust in the barn, Alice ran to the back and saw a door was still open. The bursts of gunfire cut off, and the men inside shouted in confusion. Taking her chance, the young noblewoman leapt inside just as she saw one of the men turn away from a parlor window to grab a more familiar weapon. Dashing through the house, Alice slugged the man with the flat side of the hatchet. The heavyset thug collapsed, and as his partner at the window turned to see what happened, a leather-covered fist was already driving hard into his face.

 

“Two down,” she panted. “Where’s-” A window broke from the second floor, and a man screamed for a second until he slammed into the ground. Looking out of the broken windows, Alice saw the body of the greasy-haired driver from before lying with his neck at an unnatural angle. Heavy footsteps then came down the stairs, and Teal’c came out of the shadows.

 

“You took the initiative,” he said, bowing his head as he carried several weapons and Applejack’s hat. “I am most impressed.”

 

Alice glared at the man. “What do you mean? I’m an officer, my subordinates would be in even more danger if I hadn’t acted.”

 

Teal’c nodded, moving for the front door. “You would be surprised to learn of how many former superiors of my own would rather sacrifice their men for personal glory.” Striding out back onto the farm, Teal’c saw O’Neill and Carter running over. “They are all neutralized O’Neill. I believe the time has come to leave this place.”

 

“No kidding.” Dropping the lever-action O’Neill took back his P90 and loaded a fresh magazine. “That everything?” Teal’c nodded. “Okay, let’s-”

 

“Wait, where’s the lantern?” Oreldo grabbed Teal’c’s arms and started lifting them. “Did you see a lantern in the house?”

 

“There was. Is it of importance to you?” Teal’c was answered by the man sprinting off to retrieve his propert.

 

O’Neill nodded. “I’d say it has some sentimental value.”

 

Randal was out as quickly as he dashed in, Lantern safely hooked to his belt and holding a massive pistol in his hand. “All set lieutenant.”

 

Alice nodded. “We’ll take one of the other cars, deflate the wheels and sabotage the engine of the last one.” After ten minutes, they were moving.

 

“Here is one of their vests O’Neill,” Teal’c said, handing it to the colonel as they drove along the dirt road. “I believe it is rather primitive compared to what I have seen your own forces don before battle.”

 

“You’re not kidding Teal’c,” O’Neill said. The thing was bulky, the metal plates inside massive and ungainly. O’Neill didn’t dare imagine what it would be like to run in one of them. “So your nation doesn’t make these?”

 

“No, a bandit gang shouldn’t be able to find anything like this without help.” Alice groaned. “Just another problem for the captain.”

 

“I see them,” Oreldo said as the car crested a hill. Everyone in the car saw it, a pair of headlights in the far distance climbing another bump in the farmland. Then a second pair, closer, crested a smaller hill. “Wait, what?”

 

O’Neill grabbed his binoculars. “Christ, how many people own cars around here?”

 

“Hardly any,” Alice shouted. “Wait, there’s two more sets of headlights, it’s some kind of convoy.”

 

O’Neill grabbed his radio. “Sunset, get that car off the road now. I’ve got three vehicles heading your way, get to cover pronto.”

 

“Got it colonel.” O’Neill put the binoculars to his face and saw the first car turn off. The headlights died, and O’Neill silently prayed that they hadn’t been seen.

 

That hope was dashed when the lead vehicles opened up with a top-mounted machine gun. “Armored car, gotta be a .303.” Watching, O’Neill saw a brilliant gleaming barrier appear, rounds bouncing off in sparks like miniature stars. “Alright, Rarity’s keeping them busy.”

 

The firing faltered for a second, but then picked back up as a light thumb sounded in the distance quickly followed by a blast behind the girls. Carter nearly jumped out of her seat. “Rifle grenades, sir the girls won’t stand a chance if they get surrounded.”

 

“Teal’c, start laying down with your staff.” Teal’c nodded, leveling his staff as the car moved and firing at the distant headlights. Men screamed, but the next hill rose up and cut them off. “Alright, we’re gonna hit’em on the flank and distract them, give the girls time to get to better cover. Lieutenant, I want you to-”

 

Randel jumped out of the car, O’Neill only catching a soft blue light vanishing into the distance. “What the hell is that lunatic doing?!”

 

“He’s saving those girls,” Alice said, taking out her blade. “He’ll know what to do.”

 

Pinkie grabbed a handful of sprinkles and threw, but it wasn’t enough to stop the men firing at them. Rarity yelped as another explosion went off behind them. Teal’c helped by forcing some of the men to focus on the road instead of the girls. “I thought we were supposed to be helping with research!”

 

“Just keep the barrier up,” Sunset shouted. “I don’t think they’re trying to kill us, they must be who the kidnappers called when he realized who their hostage was.”

 

Martis fired from behind the barrier. Questions would have to come later. “Whoever they are, we have to move. Can you use those sprinkles to give us a distraction?”

 

Fluttershy raised a trembling hand. “I-I-I already h-have one.” Looking over, everyone saw that Fluttershy had managed to call to a flock of songbirds. “All they want is return is some food.”

 

Sunset grabbed her radio. “Colonel, Fluttershy is going to make a distraction. When it starts, we’re going to run back up the road to you.”

 

“Don’t, apparently one of them has a plan to save you all. Just watch for a blue lantern. Keep the distraction, and don’t let that barrier down.”

 

Rarity glared at the radio. “Tell him if he wants it up he can do it himself!”

 

“We’ll try.” Sunset nodded to Fluttershy, and with a loving nuzzle she set the birds loose. Suddenly the men around the armored car started to shout, swatting at the attacking beaks in the darkness. Rifles tried to down the birds, but their small bodies were too fast in the dark night. The armored car wasn’t so easily managed, and the machine gun kept chattering away at Rarity’s diamond barrier. The fashionista didn’t have much left, Sunset saw it in the exhausted eyes. The combo of bombs and gunfire was distracting her, and cracks started to form in the barrier.

 

Suddenly Sunset was overwhelmed again. It was a lack of emotion, an empty void of nothing. She saw it, a blue wisp moving across the hills. Moving at incredible speed.

 

Before anyone could understand what was happening Randel jumped atop the turret of the armored car and pressed his pistol onto it. The round easily pierced the thin top armor, and it didn’t take a skilled imagination to realize that whoever was inside wasn’t anymore. The driver started to move as the men started to shout; glowing barriers, birds attacking, and now one of the will-o-the-wisps? Men scattered about, trying to shout orders to regroup. Then the car with the rest of the team crested the hill. Teal’c’s staff blasts coupled with O’Neill and Carter firing on the convoy broke them. Alice jumping out of the car and tackling one of the men was just icing on the cake for Rainbow. “Oh my Gosh that was awesome!”

 

Alice held the man at knifepoint, knees on his elbows and blade pressing into his neck. “Who are you people? What are you doing with all these weapons?”

 

The man stared up, and Alice saw as he worked his tongue inside his mouth. Before she realized it, he bit down hard. “What? No, no you bastard!” She tried to pull his mouth open, but the mask he wore over his face made it too little too late.

 

“Cyanide pills!” O’Neill rushed out of the car as he saw what was happening. The armored car tried to drive away, swerving and juking as the other survivors piled into the trucks. Randel easily gripped the turret, blowing away the driver with another shot. The two trucks quickly disappeared into the night, the last few survivors of the raid leaping aboard or running into the distance as Section III was left to clean up the mess.

 

“Oh my gosh,” Fluttershy said, covering her mouth as Twilight surveyed the scene next to her. “Are they…are they all really dead?”

 

Applejack took her hat back from Teal’c and tipped it. “They were trying to kill us. If the colonel and the others hadn’t shot back, we’d be dead too. Much as I don’t like it, we lived and they didn’t. I’ll take that any day of the week.”

 

“Yeah well you’re not getting guns just yet.” O’Neill kicked one of the bodies onto the back and checked the man over. “No markings, mask is tied tight around the face. That armored car one of yours?”

 

“No, another model that’s supposed to be experimental.” Alice looked up as Randel dismounted, shuttering the blue lantern. “They were coming after me. But it was because of all of you they were coming in numbers.”

 

“They realized they were facing a technologically superior opponent,” Teal’c mused. “They will undoubtedly be more effective in future encounters.”

 

“What was that?” Sunset drew everyone’s attention, glaring at Randel as he paused in the road. “I felt it. There was a void where your emotions were supposed to be. Something happened when you opened that lantern, because the second you shut it you came back.”

 

Randel seemed embarrassed by finally being called out about the issue. “It’s, well I just think it’s hard to talk about.”

 

Sunset kept glaring. “Look, we’re sorry we came to the wrong dimension. But my friends nearly got killed, and I think we deserve to know what’s going on.”

 

“Lay offa him kid,” Oreldo spat as he stepped in front of Randel. “He’s still trying to figure that out himself thanks. Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to judge because of something that saved your life.”

 

Sunset didn’t budge. “Look, whatever’s going on here is something big. Nothing should be able to just eliminate emotions, no magic I’ve ever encountered could do that.”

 

Randel backed up, suddenly afraid. “Magic? What are you talking about, there’s no such thing!” Rainbow dashed raised an eyebrow as wings sprouted from her back. Randel stared. Oreldo and Martis stared. Alice stared. Randel fainted.

 

O’Neill turned to Daniel. “Pay up.”

 

Sunset stalked over to O’Neill as Carter and Daniel tried to help the girls. “Listen, I’m willing to accept that this is dangerous. That’s not why I’m worried right now. There’s something else at foot here, and if there is a conspiracy those people are the only people we have that can lead us to an answer.”

 

O’Neill shook his head. “Sunset, we can’t do it this time. We’ve brought back eight other separate teams, if we bring back any more I’m worried Kinsey might just decide to make a circus act out of all of’em. And I told you what the NID nearly did to Teal’c, what do you think they’d do to someone else that isn’t technically even real in our universe?”

 

Sunset backed off a little. “Colonel, you said that each of the teams is at least able to bring something to the table. Magic, alchemy, bending. Then the technology; firearms, vehicles, quantum engineering. My friends and I are the experts on portals and the Sailor Scouts you told us about have technology so advanced it practically is magic. What if these people are another key to what we need?”

 

O’Neill shook his head. “Sunset, we don’t need experts in jumping on and off of cars.”

 

Sunset grinned a little bit. “What I mean is that they’re driven, and they might be able to give us something more when it comes to biology and psychology.” She gave another look to Randel, Martis trying to slap the poor man awake with massive blows to the face. “Something’s happened to his mind, and plus these people have been running around helping people who’ve lost everything. What if they can help us connect? They could help us bridge the gap that, let’s face it, you don’t exactly do without shooting at something.”

 

O’Neill shook his head. “I don’t shoot at everything.”

 

Sunset arched an eyebrow. “I made sure to read over your mission reports.”

 

O’Neill paused. “Didn’t it mention that time we went to that planet of the sonic-people?”

 

* * *

  

Arriving back at the rocks they came through, SG-1 waved to Section III. “We’ll give you a call once we get word to our commanders. Though frankly, the whole name you got? Just saying, might want to come up with something more interesting.”

 

Fluttershy smiled at the birds, breaking off pieces of wheat bread from an MRE when she stopped. Looking down, she frowned as she picked up a cigarette. “Really now, all of you. Every one of you should know better than to litter like this.”

 

Daniel looked around. “None of us smoke Fluttershy.”

 

O’Neill swaggered a little. “Though I have been known to smolder on occasion.” Carter shook her head behind him as Teal’c raised an eyebrow.

 

“Thank you, for the help.” Alice held out a hand. “Hopefully Capt. Hunks will be able to work a way to have us help you. Your technologies could help the Empire rebuild without hurting anyone for a change.” She noticed Fluttershy glaring at them. “None of us smoke either.”

 

Fluttershy kept her huffing as the birds flew away and the girls put their hands back on the rock formation to see if they couldn’t take the same route home. “Well sir, what are we gonna tell Gen. Hammond about these latest additions?”

 

O’Neill shrugged. “Well Sen. Kinsey is gonna have to visit eventually to harangue and belittle us for wasting money, not bringing back anything useful, putting us in even more danger.” He smiled at Carter. “Think Gen. Hammond will mind some extra company when it happens?”

 

Carter chuckled. “I think my dad can help us make it a productive visit.”


End file.
